In My Pajamas Till Noon! Time... in Coronaville

  by Cynthia Adler

A long while ago, I remember hearing a beautiful song, and it was called, oddly enough, “I Didn’t Know What Time It Was.”  It was written and performed by a woman named Cecile Salvant, and in its third line of lyrics it said, “I Didn’t Know What Day It Was”… (and another lyric said, “I didn’t Know What Year It Was…” )

But, I don’t think we’ll go there just now.  Not yet.

I, who would get up early, wash up and head for the gym. I, who would come back have good meal, and go right to the computer to go through the endless emails, and do some writing that I had to turn in, or prepare a class that I was off to or teaching…then out for a lunch with friends or business associates or maybe out to some stores and then theater and/or dinner…you get the idea.

But now…I think we have stumbled into the CAU, (the Corona Alternative

Universe,) where the bulk of the day has changed course and we are either totally Zoomified, (and just how many people do you suspect are naked from the waist down while on a Zoom?…(certainly more than we know…or would want to know,)  or into some rabid-cell phone-junkie pattern, as well, and very often we don’t begin our day till late morning…or shall we say, very late morning, and then look in a mirror and say, “I didn’t even wash my face yet, and I’m hungry. I’m going to make lunch and then…maybe I’ll deal with this dry skin thing!”

So that’s why I wanted to talk with you Hip Silvers today, and to see if any of these things sound familiar to you. 

Number 1:  Sadly, after waking up, I often find myself trying to figure out what day it is.  No…it’s not brain fog, or some type of new dementia…it’s Quarantine Fever…a rare new malady that is sweeping the country.

There are no drugs for this (and weed often even makes it worse,) and the embarrassment of having to look at a calendar and hoping that nobody sees you, or if you are alone, wondering if this is now a permanent condition.

Number 2.  Hygiene.  Do you even notice that you are wearing the same underpants that you did yesterday?  Or, that you haven’t washed your hair in a week? Maybe forgetting to shower, or even more distressing, thinking that you did two days ago when it was actually six?  How about teeth brushing? Forgot last night when you binged on a season of Ozark and then passed out on the couch, and headed straight to the bed at 3AM?

Number 3.  Food Binging.  These may be some really big mistakes…bringing cookies into the room where the television is, buying ten chocolate bars at one time, seven pints of ice cream, a few bottles of chocolate syrup, six jars of nut butters, a few onion flavored sour crèmes and some dark corn chips…maybe six packages… or more. We tell ourselves that we will ration out everything, but we are in Quarantine Fever-land, and so it doesn’t matter what we tell ourselves.  That little devious internal demon has us sneaking lots of things into the TV room or the living room or the bedroom and eating whatever, until we are again passing out on the couch and maybe staying there till the dog wakes us up, or the cat who wants to be fed, or a partner or roommate who has also downed more than their body can handle, and isn’t up for too much talk.

Quarantine Fever has many symptoms and some are just insidious.  You just don’t even know if it is a symptom because it can look like something else.

Number 4. Listening to too much News.  Turning on the News first thing in the morning has its downside.  Mainly, all the scary info that you’re getting!.  Yes, you need to have an overview of what is happening in the world, but if you do it early morning, it may color your day in some not so lovely shades of gray, with some angry and deep purple overtones.  Listening to music might be a better choice, but when you are burning with Quarantine Fever, you are prone to addictive behavior, (like the thing with the food…remember?)

What I’m getting at is, it’s a hard thing to beat, this Fever.  And you can affirm or burn candles or chant till the cows come home.   Or… you can get out of bed and immediately dress yourself , and wash your face, and don’t go near a phone or a computer or a television, and go take a walk with a mask! (I know most of you are saying sarcastically, “Yeah…thanks for sharing!)

But who knows…maybe that’ll change something… 

or… maybe not.

In any case…

Happy August, HipSilvers.