Is Santa In Quarantine?

by Cynthia Adler

I have been thinking about Christmas this year.

I have been thinking about sleigh bells ringing and children singing.  (I know…that would make a great song lyric!) And, I have been thinking about just how many houses Santa has to go to…just how many chimney’s he has to slide down, just how many gifts wrapped by Elves that come to visit him, and who may have not been social distancing the night before…and quite truthfully, I am worried about him this year.

Usually, he and Mrs. Claus like to dine out for a few nights before Santa’s all night long delivery job. He is a lover of roasted lamb, a sturdy Christmas dish, and she favors the thick lamb stew.  But let’s face it. They live in the North Pole, and outdoor dining seems a bit sadistic there, at the least. And since Santa has never been a big  fan of “takeout,” either, it seems that this year it may be some frozen pizza and chips for the “two nights before Christmas” celebration.

So lets face it folks, this year, Santa’s biggest purchase may just be a few tons of Hand Wipes and Sanitizers.  Can you just picture it now?  Santa wiping down Rudolf’s nose, his antlers, and his neck, just in case he has to grab him on the way down to somewhere in America, Croatia, Italy, and everywhere else he needs to go that night?  Santa arriving on his sleigh on your roof. Putting on his plastic body suit to make the trip down the chimney, or grabbing his master key to open your apartment door at 3 in the morning?

Santa would have to wipe down every gift before he put it under a tree, or on a little bench…and what if a kid wakes up and wanders into the living room?  Santa couldn’t even hug him! What would that trauma do to a kid’s future feeling about this holiday?

No.  I think we have to rethink this year a bit.  I think we have to order Santa to stay home this year.  Not to even leave the House, or Hut, or Trailer that he lives in.  Get a good supply of frozen Pizzas and watch some old Santa movies on Netflix, Amazon or Hulu, so he can ruminate on the good old days, and leave Christmas morning to the parents of these kids. 

We don’t need big gifts this year.   Because in a time when so many people have lost so much, the greatest Christmas gift that anyone can give anyone right now, is Love.

Doesn’t cost anything,  but it means… everything.

Love.